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Jesus was a badass.
That was my take-away from my weekly religious instructions as a child. I’m pretty sure that’s not what they were going for. But still, even as a kid I saw him as the subversive, rebel-genius that he was and I loved him for it! I had forgotten this until recently. It was during the recording of a recent Story Mischief that I was reminded of this major shaping influence and partial reason for my obsession with storytelling. The episode focused on the parable of The Good Samaritan. The scene is set in much the same way all the parables told by Jesus are, with someone asking him a question or challenging one of his teachings. And just like that, Jesus busts out a story that up-end’s everyone’s thinking and disarms any attempt to challenge his authority. No need to raise his voice or shoot lasers out of his eyes. His storytelling was as much a miracle to me, as raising Lazarus from the dead. Perhaps more so, because it was one that I could conceive of doing myself. While I’m not entirely sure it would have been JC’s style, I like to picture him ending each storytelling session with a mic drop and a “peace-out bitches!” because effectively, that’s what he did. Total baller move. Then it occurred to me, that all of my storytelling heroes share a number of attributes. Attributes that elevate storytelling to something more than even an art from. 1) No attachment to the outcome - They let the listener and the story have their own experience of one another. They don’t try to control the experience. This may feel contradictory, especially in the case of someone like Jesus trying to prove a point, but he always seemed to leave the story laying where.. well.. where he flung it. 2) Awareness of the audience - I didn’t fully understand this until I started telling stories myself, but my favorite storytellers are deeply aware of their audience. This awareness shapes how the story gets told, much in the same way the story shapes the audience. It’s the storyteller’s awareness of their audience that invokes a symbiotic relationship making it difficult to recognize who is shaping who. And yes, I am speaking of the story as if it were its own living being. Because it is. 3) Adaptability - The best of the best have an uncanny ability to move with the moment. They’re able to seamlessly weave unexpected occurrences into a story and make it seem as though it was a part of the story all along. A strange noise, the appearance of an animal, a shift in light…It’s this ability that makes every telling of a story a first and last event allowing the teller to never tell the exact same story twice. These are only a few of those qualities I recognize in the great storytellers. My hope is, if I can develop and master these skill within my own storytelling, who knows…maybe I’ll give walking on water a try next. WEEKLY CHALLENGE
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“Dad… that guy’s kissing your truck.”
I looked over at the flurry of workers drying and shining its' glass and tires. Sure enough, one of the carwash attendants was literally kissing the back windshield of my truck. More accurately, he was kissing a sticker on it…kissing it as though it were the Pope’s ring. I had one of those ‘WTF?’ moments before realizing what was going on, and at once, it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. I knew then, I had created something genuinely powerful. I just had the sticker printed. A whole box of them in fact. It was of my own design. My own personal talisman in the form of a pirate flag. A flag that would serve as more than the symbol of my Original Medicine. It was a touchstone. An energy source. A charging station. The flag reflects back to me, the story I tell myself about who I really am. It also kicks me in the ass when I fail to tell myself the story and instead, fall into the rut of complacency and smallness. Which I do, unfortunately. But less so as time goes on. "The Black" serves as a powerful talisman for me. The idea of a pirate flag tells the story of my devotion to the rebellious freedom that lives inside of me. The skeleton is a reminder of the short time we have in this life - so get off your ass and live it! The lightning is how I strive to strike, powerfully and accurate. And the snake... the snake is a symbol of renewal and transformation. A symbol often misunderstood which in my opinion, makes it even more potent. All parts together, the flag represents my commitment to living fully and connected to my Original Medicine. Having a vibrational “tuning forks” like this one, helps put me back into relationship with my power. My ability to play, imagine, create, set boundaries, and serve. As the drying and shining was completed, the workers trailed away one by one, on to the next car. One person remained behind, smiling. I put my hand on his shoulder, looked him in the eye and thanked him. “No. Thank you,” he said, and I climbed in my truck and drove away, grinning. WEEKLY CHALLENGE Make your own flag. Or mandala. Or symbol, figure, banner. Whatever works for you. Heck, go get a tattoo if it pleases you. Put some genuine thought and effort into it. Create something that reflects the story of who you are when you are firmly seated in the center of your truth. Don’t do it for anyone other than yourself. Finally, be mindful of where you put it. You don’t want complete strangers kissing it. Or…maybe you do. Harry never actually draws blood.
At best he just startles you. In most cases he ends up starting himself too. Harry...Harry Potter to be exact, is my daughters cat. She received him last year for Christmas. You can’t not love this cat. He’s sweet, affectionate and as I suggested, will attack the shit out of you when you least expect it. It’s a little game he likes to play and oddly, playing it with him has taught me to be a better storyteller. Or should I say…story seller? Here’s how the game usual goes: I catch Harry staring at me. His body language suggests he’s considering whether or not to make a meal of me. It’s both adorable and somewhat menacing at the same time. The whole scene is straight out of Clavin and Hobbes. I tilt my head to initiate the game. He crouches into a ball. I allow my gaze to land on him. No direct eye contact mind you. I’ve learned that direct eye contact will break the spell causing the beast to roll onto his back and act like he wants his momma to change his diaper. So weird. The partial eye contact is critical. I slowly begin to hide myself from his view. It’s important to leave something of yourself showing, however. Just enough to make him think he might lose his chance if he waits too long. His pupils dilate like giant black moons: the point of no return. The moment is both tense and exciting. Even though I know exactly what’s about to happen. The explosion of energy never fails to scare the ever loving’ bejesus out of me. Harry makes the attack and I scream like a two year old. The game is over. No one’s harmed. Both of us feel like we’ve won. I remember a time when marketing my business was legitimately frightening for me. I hated talking about myself and avoided getting to know what my prospects wanted... what got them excited. If someone wanted what I had to offer great. If not... their loss. This attitude was a defense mechanism. Marketing myself was anxiety provoking for me. I blamed my inability to understand my audience on my audience. Text book projection and a recipe for failure. But now marketing has become something of a game. The same one I play with Harry. Learning about what your clients want, what gets them excited and telling the story that inspires them to take action… it’s a necessary part of the process. One that has become one of my favorite parts of growing my business today. Here’s a little challenge to help make it more fun for you: WEEKLY CHALLENGE Let’s start by keeping the stakes low. Don’t practice this with your business just yet. Practice with someone unrelated to your work. It will likely make this easier for you so you can experience it as play and then you can translate the lessons to your business, later. Your challenge is simple: build up someones desire for something. It can be anything from a chocolate chip cookie to… um… whatever. Sell them a story they can't refuse. But make sure you can deliver the goods or you may loose their trust. “You can be the hero, or a zero!"
To this I say, "EW!" Sure, it’s a catchy phrase, but it's a lie. A lie that has unfortunately influenced how many entrepreneurs tell their story in an attempts to attract new customers. But this is not what customers are looking for. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of hero stories, just not when they’re being told by the hero themselves. So, what other options do you have when it comes to talking about yourself? First, it’s worth noting why you wouldn't want to position yourself as the “zero,” or victim. It's simple: no one wants to hire a victim. Victims are still in their wound and in need of healing themselves. Though it may seem like an obvious to avoid, speaking from a place of victimhood can happen if you’re not careful. You’ll know you’re doing it when you find that you're invoking sympathy from your audience. You as the hero A former teacher of mine often told stories featuring himself as the hero. I’m not gonna lie, they were brilliantly told and brought throngs of eager students to his school. His stories made you want to be just like him and I’ll be dammed if I didn’t find myself doing some of the craziest shit as a result (all good stuff). But... ...There where unintended side-effects Eventually, most of us realized that our hero was flawed. No more or less than anyone else but after having been up on a pedestal for so long, there was only one direction for him to go…down. And after that, there was no coming back. I’ve since learned, the best kind of heroes don’t put themselves on pedestals. They don’t argue for their own greatness. Instead, they show empathy for where you are in your journey and are able to state their authority from a place of humility. In this, a third option is born. Every hero has a mentor. A wise guide. Someone who helps support, train, push, and challenge them to be the best they can be. The role of the mentor is to help the hero overcome their limitations. They're someone whom without, the hero would never be able to win the day. Bottom line... ...Be the mentor. Let your customer be the hero. WEEKLY CHALLENGE
It's 11:34 PM.
I've just burned through 3 episodes of the Queen's Gambit on Netflix. I'm tired and I have a ton of work to do in the morning yet for some reason I cannot help myself from clicking "next episode." WTF is wrong with me? And it's not just with this show. I've been here before; Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Black Sails, Shameless, Shitt's Creek. My Facebook feed is filled with people confessing something similar. What dark magic is this? As it turns out, the answer is quite simple. Old, too. And, by applying it to any of the forms of storytelling you do in your business, you too, can create the same mesmerizing effect. One that will increase the chance of people paying attention. So what's the secret? A story loop is a simple storytelling devise that creates a need to know by leaving a gap in the storyline. All well-told stories have story loops. They're a natural part of plot development. They're often linked to a problem that a character is seeking resolution to. I suspect this goes back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors who had a very real need to close the story loop on the natural mysteries that meant either feast or feminine. If they didn't close the story loops between a set of tracks and the actual animal who made them, they didn't eat. And well... that's just bad for business. Back in the day (the 80's to be exact), every sitcom and TV drama contained story loops in every episode. Often, more than one. However, Those loops were always closed by the end of the show. This made sense at a time when our consumption of shows was controlled by the major networks. However, once streaming became available and we could watch episode after episode, shows began to add additional loops at the end of each episode, often making it impossible to walk away from. The hit of dopamine, cortisol and oxytocin that comes with the closure and resolution of a story loop, is simply too much to resist. Opening story loops isn't just for Netflix: If you want to grow your business, increase engagement, create better talks or presentations, start practicing the art or opening up story loops. But be warned! There are some significant hazards to be aware of... THIS WEEKS CHALLENGES:
While I hate to admit it, I've found few things to be as disempowering in my life as being asked about the work I do and not knowing what to say. Stumbling over a long, wandering explanation that confused me just as much as the person I was speaking with, was frustrating and embarrassing.
"...So, what do you do for a living?" they'd ask. With a bolt of adrenaline and one eye in search of an escape route I'd reply, "Oh, me? I'm a... I... well, I coach people?" "Cool!" they might say. "What sport? At like a... high school or something?" It was usually around then, red-faced and weak-kneed, I would begin to prey to the gods this person would either be satisfied not knowing or, that they would continue to ask questions me until the two of us had figured out I actually did for a living. If this is what's going down for you, you're in big trouble. But fear not...there's hope. After a decade plus of living from this very confusing place, relying solely on my sunny disposition and winning smile to drum up business, I finally said, enough is enough. After some searching, I finally discovered a simple solution that made it all better. Better for me. Better for business. The secret? A basic understanding of transfiguration. Transfiguration - a. : a change in form or appearance: METAMORPHASIS b. : an exalting, glorifying, or spiritual change At the end of the day, people don't buy your job title. Frankly, they don't even care what your job title is - no matter how clever or mysterious it may be. Nor do they really care where you went to school, what degrees you have, or how many certificates you've got hanging on the wall. Believe me - I've been testing this and will share more, another time. What they do care about however, is whether or not you can create the transformation they're seeking. What's the transformation you provide for people? That's what any of us are really want to know when looking to hire someone or purchase a product. We're either consciously or unconsciously seeking a transformation and we want to know who can make it happen? Period. End of sentence. So, if you can't name the transformation(s) your service provides, you're in for a lot of uncomfortable conversations that will precede the failure of your business. Let's try to avoid that, shall we? THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE:
If there's any marketing lesson that can be taken away from the past four years, it's that people love something to fight against. Exhausting? Yes! Primitive? Absolutely. Reality? 100%. And, if you're finding you want to argue with me about it, you've just proven my point.
We come alive in the face of opposition. That's just the way it is and if your business isn't out there picking fights, well... you just may be missing out. Is this a private fight or can anyone join? Not only can anyone join but everyone should, your business included. By knowing and stating what you stand for as well as what you oppose, you help your potential audience identify whether or not you're what they're looking for. And, the clearer you are, the more people you'll attract. Imagine Harry Potter without Voldemort... Seriously, how lame would the story have been? Even with all the magic and wonder, you'd likely lose interest after the first few chapters if Harry didn't have Voldemort to deal with. Or the Dursley's. Or Malfoy. Or Snape. Or.... you get my point. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't waste your time reading this - go get a copy of Harry Potter and The Sorceres's Stone immediately. You'll thank me later. The fact is, every good story ever told, has a clearly defined protagonist, be it human, monster, circumstance, or even philosophy. Stories without something to overcome, aren't stories at all. They're simply a collection of thoughts and information. Data. Boring! But when there's something to rail against, people pay attention. It's just how we're wired. If your business isn't clearly standing in opposition to something, your story isn'y complete and you're likely losing potential customers. Do your business a favor- Figure out who the enemy is and go kick its ass! Kate Pearce Educational Services helps kids with learning disabilities. It would be easy for Kate to make the monster in her story the disability, but she doesn't. Why? Because when she and I worked on the copy of her website, she spoke passionately about how the kids she helps aren't "disabled." "They just learn differently," she explained. And there it was...the enemy at the gate: Learning Shouldn't Require Tears Children are designed for learning. It's what they do! But when they're not taught in the way they learn... The enemy that Kate fights on behalf of children everywhere is inappropriate instruction, a system that doesn't give good teachers what they need to meet the needs of every students, out-dated and frankly wrong information about how children learn. And by god, Kate and her team of educators are on a crusade to change all of that. Now, tell me what parent with a struggling child wouldn't get behind that fight? And for what it's worth, Kate can hardly keep up with the demand for her serves. Ready to take a stand like Kate did? THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE:
LET ME KNOW: I'd love to hear what you discover. What worked. What didn't. How did you apply this in your personal and family life? In your business or work life? What new insights did you gain? What questions came up? By sharing your experience I'll be able to report back the findings to the larger Sagefire community and we can all grow and learn from one another. Because none of us should have to do this on our own. See what I did there? I made building your business all by yourself the enemy, not to mention, a call back to last weeks topic, giving a reason why, which you can read HERE if you missed it. Please comment below. What's the magic word?
Nope! It's not please. It's because. The word because indicates a reason is being given and people LOVE to have a reason. Even if it's not a good one. Seriously! The actual reason doesn't matter half as much as you think it would. Do you remember when your mother would ask you to clean your room and you'd ask, "Why?" "Because I said so! That's why!" she'd yell back and then...you'd go clean your room. Guess what? You were both onto something and it wasn't just the fear of what would happen if you didn't clean your room. It was the need for a reason. According to Dr. Robert B Cialdini, author of, Influence; The Psychology of Persuasion, there's a well-know principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we'll be far more successful if we give them a reason. And, I've found this principle to extend beyond the realm of favors. Providing a reason why, can increase compliance by as much as 34%. To test this theory, Harvard social psychologist Ellen Langer, conducted an experiment. While standing in line to use a copy machine at a library, Dr Langer asked those in front, "Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the copy machine because I'm in a rush?" The effectiveness of this request-plus reason was nearly 94% positive. When the same request was made without any reason given, only 60% of those asked, agreed to the request. In another version of this experiment, she asked, "Excuse me I have five pages. May I use the copy machine because I need to make copies." Remarkably, nearly 93% of the people complied with her request. Can you imagine? Understanding Psychological Triggers Understanding that people respond to being given a reason serves as an opportunity to question and identify your why's. When you can give your customers an honest reason for why they should consider working with you, reasons that are both true and aligned with your values, it becomes possible to be of service while at the same time, grow your business. Not to mention, having clear reasons for why someone should work with you is a form of identity work that'll help you master your message, build your confidence, sharpen your focus, and so much more. THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE:
LET ME KNOW: I'd love to hear what you discover. What worked. What didn't. How did you apply this in your personal and family life? In your business or work life? What new insights did you gain? What questions came up? By sharing your experience I'll be able to report back the findings to the larger Sagefire community and we can all grow and learn from one another. See what I did there? I gave a reason without using because. So many ways we can play with this. Please send your comments with the subject line "Reasons Why" to: Michael@sagefirementoring.com. I'll do my best to respond in a timely fashion. Best, Michael |
AuthorI make videos about the things I and the people I serve, need to hear. Archives
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